Musings, reflections, wisecracks from a somewhat creative mind

Archive for June, 2010

Right food, wrong dish

Chloe is on a grain-free high protein diet because of persistent ear infections. Princess Amber gets a little special food WITH grain for her sensitive stomach with some of Chloe’s kibble. Max can eat anything. They are all headstrong poodles plus the minis are O.L.D. Here’s how it’s going.

Morning feeding:

Put alpha-Amber’s dish down first even though she doesn’t want her food and isn’t hungry. Put down Max’s dish next, then Chloe’s.

Amber stares at food. Max eats a little then tries to eat Amber’s food. Push Max away. Begin to (gently) force feed Amber. Chloe stops eating to watch. Max whines because he’s not getting Amber’s food nor is he being hand-fed. Amber starts to walk away. Max tries to get to her food. Push Max away and pick up Amber and place her in front of her food dish. Chloe has stopped eating entirely and is laying down watching the drama play out. Max starts whining. Amber still won’t eat. Bring Amber and her food into laundry room and put up baby gate to prevent the other two from eating her special food. Hear Chloe scarfing down Max’s food (with grain!) and yell. Amber winces—not good to scare her around food because then she really won’t eat. Walk away, exasperated.

Fifteen minutes later: All Max and Chloe’s food is gone and the dishes are shiny. Amber is still penned up and laying there looking at her uneaten food. Coo and pick her and her dish up and bring them back to the usual spot. Hand-feed Amber. Max hovers nearby (like a gnat), ready to plunge in at the first opportunity.

Give up. Max moves in and cleans up. Give Max the rest of his meds and figure when Amber gets hungry enough, she’ll eat.

Evening feeding:

Amber eats—slowly—and only the food she likes, which isn’t the special food. Max gobbles down his canned food portion and hovers, gnat-like, around Amber while she slowly eats. (He darts in while she’s chewing and grabs bites.) Catch Max in the act and yell. Choe is eating … mostly. Keep an eye on Max. Amber eats most of the special food then moves to Max’s dish. Max goes to work on Amber’s dish. Chloe has decided not to finish her food and is watching, waiting. Amber moves to Chloe’s dish to chow down. Chloe moves to Max’s dish to finish that. Max moves to his dish and Chloe moves to Amber’s dish …

GAH!

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Ask Amber, June 21, 2010

HRH Princess Amber

Welcome to another “Ask Amber” column where Her Most Royal Highness, Princess Amber, has deigned to answer questions and offer advice for humans, canines (including  poodles – yes you), felines, et cetera. Please include your name and species. Bow! Speak!

Your Highness – I am a sophisticated and revered female alpha poodle but find I keep wanting to eat poo. Is it an addiction? I’ve seen others do it but I think I shouldn’t. Please advise. (name withheld)

Look deep within yourself and seek the true woman-alpha-bitch. Ask her “Isn’t this food that’s been eaten before? Aren’t I better than that?” Use positive imagery and focus on domination and absolute power. That’s what you are good at! Anyone can eat poo … As for your slavish omega slip, we won’t tell anyone, dear. 😀

Ask Amber

Her Most Royal Highness, Princess Amber, has deigned to answer questions and offer advice for humans, canines (including  poodles – yes you), felines, et cetera. Please include your name and species. Bow! Speak!

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Your Highness – My name is Etta and I’m a Standard Poodle. I have really long legs and sometimes run into my smaller brothers and sisters. It bothers them. What should I do?

Get a horn and honk it.

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Your Eminence, Saint Amber – My name is Ralph and I’m a regular ole BBD (Basic Brown Dog). What makes you think you’re so great and royal? Hah hah hah hah hah.

Stop panting and get a grip, Ralphie. If you’d ever been in our presence you would realize how ridiculous you are.

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Hey Royal Bitch – I’m a cat and I’m bigger and more agile than you. What’re you gonna do about it?

Release intestinal gas in your general direction.

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Your Eminence – My name is Max and I’m your brother. Will you please stop being so bossy?

No, you toad. Now get away from our rrroyal rrrawhide chewy.

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Saint Amber (the unambivalent) – I’m a human and …

Stop right there! We don’t want to hear it! We are looking away …

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Send Her Highness, Princess Amber YOUR questions and   :-0

JOIN US NEXT TIME for Her Highness’ pearls of wisdom, coming soon!

My Stick

My Stick

This is My Stick! It’s a good and a fine Stick. It was given to me by a little girl (about 3 ⅝ years old) who lives down the street from me. She knows a lot about sticks. She collects them and plays with them and then gives them to someone.

The generosity of a child is a precious thing—pure and simple.

When she gave The Stick to me she had on a formerly white top with hearts on it and dark sunglasses with neon green rims. Her little sister had on a hat with a floppy brim. Baby fashionistas.

Anyway, The Stick: It’s not a hockey stick or a pogo stick or a walking stick, a stirring stick or a measuring stick. It is a Multi-purpose Stick. You can use it for Anything my little friend tells me! You can use it as a magic wand, or a “teacher-pointer”, or you can spear a hot dog with it and cook a wiener over a fire.

Any ideas what else you can do with The Stick? (Keep it clean, boyz n girlz.)

Colo./Utah Trip: To Sum Up – Dust Storms, Sandstone, Mountain Pies, Grande Mexican Food, and SNOW!

Talk about “WOWS” (and holy cows). Have you ever seen how wind can shape sandstone? Arches National Park has a lot of examples and is an amaaaazing place full of color and incredible scenery. We spent some time there but because of high winds could not get the full effect since the dust obscured much of the view. It doesn’t show well in the pictures but there were spots where the sand was blue and green and red and coral and so on.

Then on to Moab and lunch at La Hacienda Mexican restaurant. I utterly enjoyed the food – fresh and well prepared. Nothing fancy. Just GOOD.

Next, Canyonlands National Park. Again, the view was obscured but as Albert Einstein said — our senses are inadequate to appreciate it fully. Canyonlands is a HUGE area that has been shaped by huge earth shifts and by millions of years of deposits and erosion by wind and water. (Check out this link for some good pix and explanations: http://www.nps.gov/cany/photosmultimedia/index.htm.) This park is as awe-inspiring as the Grand Canyon, in my opinion. I am going back and I think I’m actually going to camp. (Did I just type that out loud? Eeek!)

We’re looking down from 6,080 feet onto an elevation of 4,880 feet.

On the trip back we re-crossed the Rocky Mountains and there was SNOW! I think the trip from east to west (Denver to Grand Junction) was more scenic but maybe that’s because I hadn’t been there before. John Denver songs were sung BRIEFLY on the trip out but on the trip back over the range, in between the static the music was mostly 70’s rock, country and some cool reggae-jazz.

We barely made Denver airport in time then found out our flight was delayed due to high winds. We got into Tampa 12 hours later than planned after a brief layover in Atlanta with Libby’s Mom. (Thanks Mrs. Bolling!)

‘Nuff said. I’ll blather about the poods in the next post. Promise!

Chapters 3, 4, 5 and 6-trip to the wild west

I finally sorted through the 150 pictures and created a PowerPoint show to share.  You need PowerPoint to view it, though. I’m going to see if I can make a wmv file to share the pix via email. Let me know if you can’t view this (and want to) so I can send you an alternate version.

Either way, I hope you enjoy it! I did. Click on the link below.

Trip to Colorado & Utah 2010