Musings, reflections, wisecracks from a somewhat creative mind

Posts tagged ‘close’

Have Can Opener, Will Travel

Recently, I stopped at a pet supply store to pick up canned dog food. The store has diagonal parking in front. I parked reasonably well – not perfectly but reasonably.

When I came out of the store, there was a BIG HONKING pickup truck parked close to my car.

Now, when I say close to my car, I mean close enough that a circus contortionist would have a hard time moving in between the vehicles … Or a moderately-aged, healthy woman.

So CLOSE a-supermodel-couldn’t-use-chopsticks CLOSE.

Ants-would-lose-the-pheromone-trail CLOSE.

A vigorous-weed-would-alter-its-path CLOSE.

Thwart-a-laser-beam CLOSE.

I’m talking CLOSE.

OK. Maybe I’m exaggerating.

But it was CLOSE.

So here I am juggling 3 loose cans of dog food, my wallet and my keys (I like to go “purseless” a.k.a commando) – doggedly trying to enter my car. (No pun intended.)

For the uninitiated: My car is a 2-door. This means the doors are long because – theoretically anyway – they have to allow access to the seating in the back. A Mustang is technically a 4-seater although reports from the back seat vary as to the comfort of the ride.

So I’m wiggling (and swearing) my way into the drivers seat when I drop a can of dog food … and I know it will roll … somewhere. To where? Probably under my car. I’m am pretty sure retrieving it will cause a certain physical discomfort and … shame. And then there’s the hot tar of the parking lot. I’m probably going to have to drive over the can, losing my $1.36 investment. Possibly hurting my car.  Definitely losing my pride. *sigh* What to do?

I heroically throw the other articles into the passenger seat and wiggle back out of the car … while trying NOT to let my car door hit the &%#@*& truck (what a wuss) … and look for the wayward can. I spot the can. It’s easily retrievable! THANK YOU!!

I get in my car, start it and put the A/C on high, and then I think “I’d like to give that guy a piece of my mind!!”

Pause. Pause.

Hmmmmm. OK. He’s taller than me. Hmmmm. OK. He’s a “he”. Hmmmmm. He looked pretty darned serious in the store. Hmmmmm. I don’t think I can take him.

FOILED AGAIN!

So I drive away. But, as I drive I think “If I’d known you were going to park here, I’d have brought my can opener!!!!!”

I’m just sayin’.

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