Musings, reflections, wisecracks from a somewhat creative mind

Posts tagged ‘feeding’

Have Can Opener, Will Travel

Recently, I stopped at a pet supply store to pick up canned dog food. The store has diagonal parking in front. I parked reasonably well – not perfectly but reasonably.

When I came out of the store, there was a BIG HONKING pickup truck parked close to my car.

Now, when I say close to my car, I mean close enough that a circus contortionist would have a hard time moving in between the vehicles … Or a moderately-aged, healthy woman.

So CLOSE a-supermodel-couldn’t-use-chopsticks CLOSE.

Ants-would-lose-the-pheromone-trail CLOSE.

A vigorous-weed-would-alter-its-path CLOSE.

Thwart-a-laser-beam CLOSE.

I’m talking CLOSE.

OK. Maybe I’m exaggerating.

But it was CLOSE.

So here I am juggling 3 loose cans of dog food, my wallet and my keys (I like to go “purseless” a.k.a commando) – doggedly trying to enter my car. (No pun intended.)

For the uninitiated: My car is a 2-door. This means the doors are long because – theoretically anyway – they have to allow access to the seating in the back. A Mustang is technically a 4-seater although reports from the back seat vary as to the comfort of the ride.

So I’m wiggling (and swearing) my way into the drivers seat when I drop a can of dog food … and I know it will roll … somewhere. To where? Probably under my car. I’m am pretty sure retrieving it will cause a certain physical discomfort and … shame. And then there’s the hot tar of the parking lot. I’m probably going to have to drive over the can, losing my $1.36 investment. Possibly hurting my car.  Definitely losing my pride. *sigh* What to do?

I heroically throw the other articles into the passenger seat and wiggle back out of the car … while trying NOT to let my car door hit the &%#@*& truck (what a wuss) … and look for the wayward can. I spot the can. It’s easily retrievable! THANK YOU!!

I get in my car, start it and put the A/C on high, and then I think “I’d like to give that guy a piece of my mind!!”

Pause. Pause.

Hmmmmm. OK. He’s taller than me. Hmmmm. OK. He’s a “he”. Hmmmmm. He looked pretty darned serious in the store. Hmmmmm. I don’t think I can take him.

FOILED AGAIN!

So I drive away. But, as I drive I think “If I’d known you were going to park here, I’d have brought my can opener!!!!!”

I’m just sayin’.

Sit … No! Not you!

I haven’t posted anything for a while – not for lack of material, mind you but lack of time and/or energy. Here’s something you may think is cute.

After doggie dinner, doggies get chewy treats. It’s the other highlight of their day, the other being my arrival on scene after work. Treats are given in order – alpha (Amber), pest (Max), then well-behaved (Chloe). All must sit first and that is understood.

Amber will sit – eventually. The first issue is, she doesn’t do commands very well. Another issue is, she can’t really hear or see well anymore so it is POSSIBLE she didn’t hear the command. Uh-huh. Once she ever-so-slowly sits, I proffer the treat. She lunges for it with a mighty mini-poodle-snort. She snaps, she … misses. Comes up short. (Like I said, her vision is poor, especially depth perception.) So I have to maneuver the blasted treat between her jaws.

Once Amber is done, it’s down to Max and Chloe. Max is so excited he’s jumping and quivering and I suspect he doesn’t remember HOW to sit, nor can he hear the command. Chloe is so excited, she’ll do ANYTHING you tell her to do. Here’s what happened a couple of evenings ago:

Me to Max: Sit.

Max doesn’t sit.

Chloe quickly sits.

Me to Max: Sit!

Max doesn’t sit.

Chloe’s bones hit the floor as she speedily lays down.

Me to Max: SIT!

Max doesn’t sit.

Chloe sits.

I turn to Chloe and say: Sweetheart, I don’t mean you.

Then Max sits.

I give him the damn treat.

Me to Chloe: Sit.

She sits. She gets the treat. Fabulous!

Right food, wrong dish

Chloe is on a grain-free high protein diet because of persistent ear infections. Princess Amber gets a little special food WITH grain for her sensitive stomach with some of Chloe’s kibble. Max can eat anything. They are all headstrong poodles plus the minis are O.L.D. Here’s how it’s going.

Morning feeding:

Put alpha-Amber’s dish down first even though she doesn’t want her food and isn’t hungry. Put down Max’s dish next, then Chloe’s.

Amber stares at food. Max eats a little then tries to eat Amber’s food. Push Max away. Begin to (gently) force feed Amber. Chloe stops eating to watch. Max whines because he’s not getting Amber’s food nor is he being hand-fed. Amber starts to walk away. Max tries to get to her food. Push Max away and pick up Amber and place her in front of her food dish. Chloe has stopped eating entirely and is laying down watching the drama play out. Max starts whining. Amber still won’t eat. Bring Amber and her food into laundry room and put up baby gate to prevent the other two from eating her special food. Hear Chloe scarfing down Max’s food (with grain!) and yell. Amber winces—not good to scare her around food because then she really won’t eat. Walk away, exasperated.

Fifteen minutes later: All Max and Chloe’s food is gone and the dishes are shiny. Amber is still penned up and laying there looking at her uneaten food. Coo and pick her and her dish up and bring them back to the usual spot. Hand-feed Amber. Max hovers nearby (like a gnat), ready to plunge in at the first opportunity.

Give up. Max moves in and cleans up. Give Max the rest of his meds and figure when Amber gets hungry enough, she’ll eat.

Evening feeding:

Amber eats—slowly—and only the food she likes, which isn’t the special food. Max gobbles down his canned food portion and hovers, gnat-like, around Amber while she slowly eats. (He darts in while she’s chewing and grabs bites.) Catch Max in the act and yell. Choe is eating … mostly. Keep an eye on Max. Amber eats most of the special food then moves to Max’s dish. Max goes to work on Amber’s dish. Chloe has decided not to finish her food and is watching, waiting. Amber moves to Chloe’s dish to chow down. Chloe moves to Max’s dish to finish that. Max moves to his dish and Chloe moves to Amber’s dish …

GAH!