Ask Amber, on delusion

Hi Your Highness! My name is Sparky! There is this BIG, bright growly thing that rolls in front of my house everyday! There’s a human inside and it puts something inside a little box out front. I bark and bark and bark and then it goes away!! I must be scaring it! I can be kind of fierce, you know. Isn’t that awesome!?

We are sure your human believes you are protecting their territory so keep up the good work. It’ll ensure food and scratches. But sweet child, you are deluded. The big growly thing would roll away anyway. It is part of a silly game humans play. Your human takes what the first human put in the box. Your human then puts it in a blue (or green) bin only to take it outside once a week for yet another human to take away. We don’t waste our time trying to understand them.

The speed of lava

Amber is so old and crotchedy… “How old is she?” She’s so old, she moves at the speed of molten lava. See the picture below?

If you watch for a very long time, you WILL see movement.